The Un-appreciated Value

Have you ever felt like the unappreciated value in a relationship — romantic, platonic or otherwise?

What I mean is, have you ever been the appreciative value for someone? You add value to their lives. You show up like a friend should. You love them how they want and need to be loved. You give. You compromise. You give some more. Yet all of that goes unnoticed, and your efforts go unreciprocated. Not that you do those things for recognition or anything in return — but some positive affirmation would be nice.

I was asked how I handle those feelings. Those times where I feel like I am giving so much and still feeling like the value I add goes unappreciated. I feel used. At work. At home. In the world. No one wants to feel used.

My answer is simple. Control what you can. You.

Sometimes you have to love, but give a little less. Know the level of rapport you have with someone. Know the level of selfish you are willing to accept. Know your limits on what you’ll let go unnoticed, even if it’s just a few words of affirmation. Know how to say no if those you care for are not willing to step up and be an appreciative asset in your life.

Relationships on any level are a give and take. But on all levels, the giving should be equal in effort.